My mom once said to me: You don't choose your family, but you can choose your in-laws. Little did I know this was a warning...

The Geek and I are now 3,5 years together, and still I don't have the feeling to be welcome at his parent's house. His mother has the annoying habit of being a pessimist to the bone. When The Geek has an idea she always points out the flaws and the risks first. Actually, The Geek himself inhereted some of this pessimism.

In previous relationships I never had any trouble to win over the in-laws. The mother of my first boyfriend adored me. When I broke up with him, she kept on hoping that we would get back together. The parents of my second boyfriend, The Rebel, were a bit awkward in the beginning, but since I had a calming effect on their son they accused him of plain stupidity when he broke up with me.

I don't claim to be the perfect daughter-in-law, but I think parents could get worse than me. I'm fun, I'm not ugly, I have a university degree, I have a good job (pursuing a PhD!), I want a nice family, ... What do they expect more? 

However, after 3,5 years I still get sneers from his mother, and lately also from his sister. His sister, the money-grubber, came to visit us recently. During the conversation she found it necessary to mention that our carpet looks like a rag and that our curtains are rubbish.  The sheer remark was when she needed to use our restroom. Before she went, she asked with a vicious look: "Can I use your bathroom, or do you need to clean up first?"  

I mean, come on, who does she think she is??? Questioning our hygiene and tidiness? I admit, I don't put everything in order right away, but it is not a mess and it is certainly not dirty. I do know how to use the vacuum cleaner and a squeegee!

The Geek tells me sometimes that I should try harder to continue conversation with his family. But thrust me, sometimes it's better if I just keep my mouth shut.

I know, I'm only 23 going on 24, but I'm ready! When I read blogs about newly weds or people engaged I cannot help myself and start dreaming about my own perfect day. In the last few months I've read hundreds of websites about wedding inspirations and I had some ideas myself as well. Also my family is throwing some hints. We are both graduated, got nice jobs, are already living together for more then a year, ... why not marry? 

The Geek is not ready, he doesn't even want to talk about it. It's not that I want to get married tomorrow, but I like to dream and I hate it when he doesn't dream with me. Moreover it takes at least one year to plan the whole thing!  It's like he is afraid of the future. A few weeks ago I suggested that we buy a small house, since we will both work in the same city and renting is more expensive in the long term than buying. Another idea he didn't like... 

He, or his parents? This morning we had a fight about the whole future-thing, and it turned out that he's afraid of his parents' reaction. They won't like the idea of us getting married or buying a house. I don't know why but for some obscure reason, they just don't like me as much as my parents like The Geek. The sad thing is that The Geek doesn't want to put up the energy to stand up for me... 

When I was a kid I used to hate Sundays, I thought they were so boring. My father spent his Sundaymorning training dogs, while my mother did the laundry. My brother and I watched the children's programs on television. Every single Sunday, after lunch, the same question presented itself: what are we going to do today? The answer was always the same: it's already 3p.m. let's just stay home...

Now that I and the Geek are both working full-time, our Sundays look very similar.  Just hanging out at our condo. Watching some telly, playing with the cat, spending time in bed, reading, ... just doing nothing. Our weeks are so filled with working and hobbies that we don't have the energy anymore to do all sorts of spectacular things on Sunday. On Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays I go boxing, on Saturdays I have my music lessons and I visit my parents. And on Tuesdays and Thursdays friends come over.  I can hear our future kids already nag: what are we going to do??? And we will answer: nothing, my dear, just nothing, you will understand when you grow up! 

I suspect the guy who wrote the Bible was also working full-time!

It's pick-up-take-out-day. This morning I had a call with the picture book service, after one month of impatiently waiting I could finally pick up the photo album of our holiday! Normally it take 7 days, in my case it took exactly 4 e-mails, two phone calls and 31 days! Luckily it was worth waiting for, it looks fabulous!

My second take away stop will be after work. I once signed up for The Insiders, a company that sends out products that are not yet on the marked to be tested by customers. Last week I got lucky, they told me that I could try out ready-made cake doughs from Herta. Who wouldn't want that?

Also tonight I will be eating take out. Like every Monday and Wednessday there's box training tonight. And since The Geek is having dinner at his parents, I have to take care of my own food. No way that I'm cooking after two sweaty, tiring, nasty hours of training. So I'm probably gonna order something... unless I eat one of those cakes?

Tomorrow the new album from Muse will be released in Belgium. I've always liked them, especially their concert on Werchter in 2004. Next November I'm going to one of their concerts. 

I don't know any other band than can stay original in the way that Muse succeeds at this. In every song you can recognize that it's Muse, but you don't have the feeling like you've heard their new songs before.

With the help of a Flemish newspaper I can already practice to sing the songs. De Standaard has put the songs on his website, and you can listen to them for free! Listen to the new album!  If you only listen to one song, listen to Uprising or Resistance!

Do you know those personality tests that tell you what type of boyfriend you have? I don't have to take one to know: my boyfriend is a geek, a computer nerd, a squint, ...

The first thing he does when he wakes up is starting up his computer, only then he runs for the bathroom like normal people. After grabbing some cornflakes his pc is booted and the fun begins. I have absolutely no idea what he does on that thing, all I see are black screens with white letters and figures. When he comes home from work, he greets me and starts up his computer again. This does not necessarily happens in this order... 

He doesn't like shopping, but he likes to go to the trash park. While I try to get rid of old things, he brings back some more electronics. Once he came home with half a desktop, because 'you never know that it still has some good parts'. Great. In our appartment we have a shared office. My side is nicely decorated with books, his side has a desk and a table for his computerS, yes plural! He has a laptop, two screens and a desktop, and there's still room for more, he says.

To nice part: I rarely ever have computer troubles, I have access to the newest software programs (if I would want them), I don't have to be afraid of him meeting glamorous new girls, if I go out he won't even notice I'm gone: so a lot of me-time.

The bad part: he can fix a pc, but he cannot nail up a framework. Guess who put our IKEA-furniture together?  Sometimes it's like talking to a wall, maybe I should send him e-mails instead?

So, what type of boyfriend/girlfriend do you have?

Have you heard about it, the Day Zero Project? It's modern version of the New Year's resolutions. It seems that one year is not enough to fulfill your goals, so there's a new concept: 101 goals in 1001 days.

Since it seems like fun, I'm giving it a try! And no, this is not the sole purpose of this blog!

Start: 9th September 2009

End:  6th June 2012

• finished!
• in progress!
• failed

The List!


About 101-1001

1. Blog about the progress of the project
2. Put 5€ in a money box for every goal you complete
3. Make a picture of at least 50 goals
4. Keep a scrapbook of the project (fun for later!)

Active life

5. Dare to ski
6. Go rafting
7. Stand on a height of at least 3500 meter
8. Participate in the City Run (10 km) in the summer of 2010!
9. Don't skip box training for a month (even if it storms of snows!)
10. Participate in the Gordel (100km cycling)
11. Swim in an ocean
12. Go to a professional sports event

Me, myself and I

13. Write a letter to your future self, let's say my 35 year old self
14. Write a letter to your future child about who you are now
15. Move to a house with a garden in stead of your apartment
16. Grow sunflowers in that garden
17. Start law school
18. Don't go shopping for a month, so you save up for goal 19
19. Go shopping with a close friend and let her restyle you
20. Buy at least 2 outfits that are of better quality then H&M, Zara, C&A, ...
21. Travel somewhere all by yourself
22. Play the piano everyday for two weeks so you learn a new piece of music
23. Do the same on your violin
24. Buy yourself an iPod (I always put it back in the shelves) (ordered on the apple store)
25. Buy the newspaper of the day you were born (If happens, do the same when you get engaged and/or married)
26. Go to a wellnesscenter
27. Eat vegetarian for one week
28. Go to bed at 22u30 for one week
29. Don't drink soda for a week (I'm an addict)
30. Don't buy sandwiches at work, but bring homemade salads to lunch
31. Don't snooze for a week

Work, work, work!

32. Give to lectures at a foreign congress
33. Publish 3 articles in specialist magazine
34. Read 5 books and 20 articles about your PhD-subject by the end of 2009 (books 0/5, articles 2/20)
35. Buy a sweater with the emblem of your university
36. Study some physics and impress your physicist-boyfriend

Just do it!

37. Sleep under the stars
38. Use Google Earth Sky-mode to recognize stars
39. Dye your hair in a completely different color
40. Spend one weekend without electronics: no cell, no computer, no television, ...
41. Knit a scarf
42. Crochet a baby blanket
43. Participate in Post crossing until you receive 10 cards
44. Visit 5 different Christmas markets
45. Participate in the New Year's dive (cold!)
46. Take your camera with you for a month and take snaps from everything
47. Find out how many meters toothpaste there is in one tube
48. Rent a tandem with my boyfriend and argue who gets to sit in front
49. Ride a dog sledge in the snow
50. Win a competition
51. Go buy a Christmas tree in the town center and carry it home wearing reindeer ears and singing Christmas songs
52. Organize the best Christmas pick nick ever
53. Go the the beach early in the morning and write a message in the wet sand

Love, friends and family

54. Spend a whole day in bed with The Geek
55. Surprise him five times
56. Take a dance class with The Geek
57. Surprise my mother with a bunch of flowers
58. Send Christmas cards to everyone that is important to me (no e-cards!)
59. Leaf through the family albums with my grandmother
60. Create a family tree
61. Take a picture of everyone in my family
62. Create a new family album with the pictures from goal 61
63. Have our picture taken (me+brother) and use it as a gift to our parents
64. Organize an awesome day out for all my friends
65. Organize an awesome day out for my family
66. Surprise 3 people on their birthday with a homemade birthday cake 
67. Give Billy (our cat) a friend (a second cat)
68. Meet up with my 3 ex-boyfriends 
69. Try not to be irritated by your mother/sister-in-law-to-be on 3 occasions

Fellow men

70. Clear out your stuff: everything you don't use/need anymore has to go. Sell it or give it away
71. Volunteer for a day
72. Don't use the car for two weeks: use public transport, cycle or walk
73. Don't accept plastic bags anymore for a month
74. Plant a tree
75. Guerillagarden!
76. Let 5 people go first at the checkout
77. Be nice for 5 days, including in traffic!
78. Give blood 3 times
79. Give plasma 4 times

Discover the world

80. Go on a city trip with your girlfriends
81. Book a last minute and just leave
82. Take 4 day trips in your own country (Belgium it is)
83. Make a road trip
84. Visit at least 3 other countries
85. See the Big Five in Africa (not in the Zoo)

Be cultural 

86. Create 5 photo-reports with at least 20 pictures
87. Read 25 classic books, no Kathy Reichs or Sophie Kinsella!
88. Watch a movie for every letter of the alphabet
89. Watch at least 4 movies on a filmfestival
90. Visit 3 exhibitions
91. Visit 3 museums
92. Go to 3 concerts
93. Go see a play
94. Watch a movie from the year you're born (1986)
95. Read a book from the year you're born (still 1986)
96. Have a Lord of the Rings marathon

Taste and food

97. Try 5 new restaurants
98. Learn a new dish every month
99. Organize a tapas evening for your girlfriends
100. Specialize yourself in a fabulous cake
101. Try our 10 different Ben & Jerry's flavors!